Tea point gesture

Today I went to the office tea point to grad a cup of water for myself and a fruit tea for a colleague. There was a member of the facilities team filling up the sugar sachet drawer, and topping up the mini UHT milk cartons.

There must have been at least 5 of us there, myself, the facilities Man, and three other people who work on the same floor. Everyone beavered around making their refreshments, some focussed on a single cup for them selves, others had a round for the team going on. I was watching while waiting for the fruit tea to brew a little. No one even acknowledged the facilities man. Not one hello, excuse me, or thank you. Almost as if he were invisible, and the tea point had automatic settings to fill up when stocks were low.

I was just a guilty for not saying anything.  One of the last to leave, as I removed the tea bag from the cup, I thanked him, and wished him a good day. He had the biggest smile! How many days had probably passed, and how many of those had he been ignored? How much effort did that take me? None, hardly any. Yet it has made some form of positive impact on someone’s day, even for a minute.

Why do we create hierarchies that are completely unnecessary? We are all human, we are all working, doing different roles, but that doesn’t make us any better or worse than anyone else. So then why can’t we be compassionate towards each other more. If small gestures can make an positive impact, then why don’t we just do it.


Who’s deciding?

Every morning we wake up, get out of bed, get ready to start the day. We make decisions every waking second of our lives. What to wear, how to do our hair / make up, what to have for breakfast, or not, where to go, whom to speak to, how to act.

By doing this we appear to have control. We show this by not letting our guard down, or even by laying our cards all out on the table for the world to see… These are the decisions we appear to make.

Let’s just take a second to think, what if the decision we think we are making, the ones we appear to have control over, are actually more out of our control, than in? What if we’re all behaving and deciding things on an bigger force than we could imagine? What if we are merely playing out things that have already been decided for us? The saying what’s meant to be, will be rings true here. Destiny takes over. Does that mean we should just sit at home and wait for things to happen? Of course not! How boring would that be?

So then let’s say we all became slobs, and  sat around all day, is that what our destiny was meant to be?

A sense of achievement, and of appreciation disappear, because we havn’t really worked for anything. We having nothing to show for time spent, is that the type of life we want to lead? To teach our children to lead? I’d hope not.

My only hope is, do what makes you happy. If something doesn’t work for you, adjust it, change it.

A wise voice once said, “only an idiot would keep doing the same thing again and again, and expect a different result.”


Who runs the World?

‘You’re having a girl? Oh how wonderful, the goddess of fortune is coming to your home!’

In the Indian culture girls, well, all women are seen as goddesses (apparently). In my opinion this is statement hypocritical and flattering at the same time.

With the hundreds of gods and goddesses that are worshipped all over india, women are seen as the symbolism of these goddesses. Therefore when a baby girl is born, she is seen and welcomed into a household as the goddess of prosperity and fortune. On the other hand, in uneducated parts of the world they are killed, because they are seen as a burden.

It seems to be a belief of convenience, rather than of religion, or tradition.

There is still a very obvious nod towards to woman being the homemaker, the default parent, and the main sacrificer within a family unit. Why?

The frustration I feel is, if it weren’t for a woman, none of us would be here. Admittedly it takes a man and a woman to conceive a child, but it is the woman who chooses to carry it, and look after it through until birth. It is the woman who makes us!

My hatred is focussed in these uneducated parts of the world, where people think it’s ok to sell girls, to rape them, abuse and mistreat them, to think they are items and objects to own. What gives anyone the right to think that it acceptable?! What gives these people the right to mistreat those that were once individuals to be worshipped?


Available accessibility

This morning I swiped my phone right, tapped in some numbers and unlocked a world of memories as I scanned through the photos and videos I had taken. How convenient and accessible all this has become…. The ability to record and capture a moment, to keep and share, to delete, discard and recapture. Give way to the self obsessed, selfie world.

I’ll be honest, never really a fan of pictures of myself, with or without other people in them, so never really got into selfie taking. Recently have tried a couple of shots as a family, only for one child to look one way, as my husband tried to stop the other one wriggling away, lol. So have kept them for memories sake, but still feel rather uncomfortable taking photos of myself. I applaud those that have the confidence to do so, and they do it pretty well.

Our wedding was a ‘just get on with it’ situation. We knew we weren’t going to get away without any photos taken, so we decided the best way, was to give in for the duration of our wedding celebrations.

Funnily enough, as much as we don’t like our photo taken I do wish we had a few photos, where both us liked how we are captured, just so we have some snippets of our lives recorded.

I know my children, especially my daughter, are heading towards this selfie obsessed group, she’s already tilting her head slightly and smiling when a family member goes to take a picture of her! With the way technology is going, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the mirror itself taking the photos as you pout and pose!


It’s up to you

How different we all are? Have you ever met someone that is exactly like you? When I mean exactly, I mean carbon copy… Probably not.

People say we are all cut from the same cloth, of the same design. Like a pattern cutter would cut a shirt. We are all born, and we will all, at some point, face death. We have created and developed many things as human beings, yet three things remain out of our control. Age, yes there maybe surgeries, exercise, diet, makeup for us to look younger, but that doesn’t mean we can stop the years adding up. Disease, it’s the most thoughtless and cold hearted thing to happen to us. We do not ask for it, yet it comes, can sometimes take over our lives, and our loved ones too, wreak havoc, and disappear, or it can stay with us forever, we try to ignore it, try not to let it win, but sometimes it does, no matter what we do. And Death, until we continue living on as robots, it’s safe to say that everyone will one day or another come to their end. Again we can try our best to be healthy, and happy, but if the end is near, no one can do anything to stop it.

This post isn’t meant to be depressing, or morbid. It’s meant to be realistic. For us, as human beings, in control of our lives, should live our lives out the way we want to. We should live in a fairy tale if that’s what makes us happy. Or move to a foreign land in search of adventure. Or tell that special someone how much they mean to us. Be different, be the same, be a unicorn or be a sheep. It is up to you to live your life how you see fit, and the rest will fall into place… Don’t worry, it may take a while, but it always does.



I am invisible, do I seem that not bothered, that it looks like I don’t care?

It stings a little when people that aren’t even present get a mention and my being there feels insignificant. I know there are times I like to blend into the crowd, but how have i managed that in a small group? Funnily enough, blending in and feeling apart from everyone at the same time, I feel like the poor cousin sometimes. That’s when the security of my insecurities start to kick in.

I’m not ignored when I speak, but then I get the feeling I’m sometimes just an inconvenience. Feeling disconnected.

I feel nervous sometimes, like I have missed out on some much time, where other’s have carried on, grown closer. I’m about 10 steps from the start line, walking, whilst the rest of the crowd have passed the finish line and on their second or third lap! Is it so bad to want people to want to spend time with you because they like you as an individual, rather than just because you maybe useful to them?

I’ve always been comfortable in my own company, but now I have slowly been made to need the presence and acknowledgment of others. Rather than being just comfortable in my own company I need to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. To use the nervous energy I feel, and turn it into something positive. Learn to love myself, and gain the confidence back that I used to have.


To be or not to be content

The wonder of what if? The magical question, that can lead to all kinds of things. Wonderful as well as disasterous.

I often find myself sat in the same place just stupidly overthinking everything. I ruminate about my life and seek out how to perfect it. I talk to people, imagine the best and even sometimes have found myself being grateful what what is yet to come, in the hope that however long it takes I will eventually get there.

There are certain parts of our lives, which we all look to constantly improve, even if it’s at a pretty point, we want more, we want better. I’m told to be content with what I have, but to make something happen, you have to want it. To want something, you have to feel a void, or a gap somewhere. If that is the case then how can you be content?

Passion, drive, determination are a combination of people not content with a certain aspect of their life, that they are looking to better, if not, perfect. If we were all content with life and it’s ways, would progression come to a halt? Does the sense of being happy with what you have, lead to settling, and not striving for more?

What if M&S were content with their penny bazaar? What if I was content in my previous home? What if we were content with our previous car? Nothing…or not much would have really happened. We wouldn’t know the people we know, we won’t feel the same way about things, life would be very different. We would be a scared, risk averse society to some extent.

Perhaps this sounds a little extreme, but that’s how my over thinking brain is ticking along…. So is not being content such a bad thing?