So it’s been a while since I’ve written, feeling like I’ve been in solitary confinement, a little. I’ve had time away, time to reflect somewhat, time to re-engage myself with myself too.
There’s been lots of things big and small going on for quite a while now, sometimes you feel you’re getting swept along with the current. Whilst you have no complaints, sometimes it’s nice to just feel the ground under your feet and take a breather.
A while back I was given feedback of being judgemental, and that wasn’t a great personality trait to portray. To a certain extent, I guess as humans we all are. I hadn’t realised it was something others found frustrating about me. I suppose if that’s how they feel, then I can’t really question it. But to be completely stripped back and honest. It shook my confidence. A reason for the lack of blog posting too.
I tried to justify it to myself, but maybe they were right. Another truth, I like to see things how I like to see them, if that makes sense. So it seems I’ve been kidding myself all along.
How many times do we, as humans, do that? We make out we’re being wronged, or it’s happening / happened to us. It’s not. It’s happening around us, we just happen to get in the way. We create opinions about people, we take sides, we trust others more than our own. Why? Why give us emotion and feeling when our head and heart are not always on the same page?
I have a collection of a few close friends, it’s how I like it. I can truly be myself around them, the selfish, judgmental, over emotional mother that can’t really do anything, let alone, do it all. And they do the same… we leave judgements of each other at the door. The space we’re in becomes safe, and secure. There was something I noticed today, about how incredible nature is at supporting itself. It is so self-sufficient, it actually has no need for any human intervention, we actually make it worse. I guess the perfect friendship offers that support that it doesn’t need anything else. Whether it be in the form of a friend, partner, family member… it doesn’t matter. It takes a while to find a genuine friend… whatever form they come in…make sure you keep hold of them.