So it’s just gone 11:30pm, and judging by my usual rock star (sarcastic) lifestyle, and my overly draining work week, one would assume I’d fall asleep, with the promise of a weekend tomorrow, as soon as my head hit the pillow. I’m usually asleep just after 10… told you, rock star!
A self made error on my part, I ate some sweets before bed. Not the ‘dessert’ kind, but the ‘sweet shop’ kind. The ‘E numbers overload’ kind, and now I can’t sleep!
When I can’t sleep, I think. And when I’ve had a few too many sweets, my mind goes into overdrive. Now as you’re probably aware from my previous posts, I’m a bit of an over thinker at the best of times. So more of it following on from a pretty long week, is not welcomed.
Anyways in my thinking, and the childishness of sweets, or more my lack of any kind of control towards them, reminded me of how there’s a suppressed child hidden in us all. Ourselves, our parents, our friends, colleagues, peers etc. Despite my age and family, I still feel like I’m not grown up, and clearly have childish tendencies. Sometimes, in my mind, I want what I want. Selfish as that may seem. It’s so simple. Like a child would want want something.
I see, I like, I want, I get.
As we grow, we care about how we are perceived, what impression we are leaving, we go around the houses, and during all this mayhem sometims we either lose focus, or we convince ourselves we don’t want it anymore. Of course there are many times we do get, and I hope this is the case for most people. My question is what do we lose out of those other occassions. Looking at it simplistically, the heart wants what the heart wants. However strong or not those feelings are, can you just switch them off?
An example today. My son loves his milk. But he worked himself up so much about going into the guest bedroom where we had shut the door, that he completely lost his love for milk for his new desire to get into that room. The strange thing I found was that after giving in (the weak, tired parent I am) he was still pushing away the milk as if he was blaming it for not getting into the room in the first place. Who lost out in the end? He did… he convinced himself he didn’t want milk, and went to bed with a quarter of what he’d normally have.
My point being, although things may distract you… and yes the heart wants what it wants, don’t sacrifice it due to other distractions! I’m not saying become really stubborn and lose any sense of reason, all I mean is never lose focus. We want what we want for a reason… we all have tailor made thoughts, wants and desires. Why shouldn’t we get what we want?
Apologies for the babbling…. it’s the sweets!