Grateful

And so the cogs turn, and the wheels are in motion once again. The over thinking that is human nature. We all do it, some a lot more than others but that’s what differentiates us from robots. We feel emotion, and we think (sometimes over think) things through.

There are times when I wish I could. E a little more robotic. Sometimes I just procrastinate, to the point I actually annoy myself at how little I have to show for the time that has been spent. Other times I feel very grateful to have achieved things, and of where I am.

At the start of this week I set myself a challenge. Mainly work focussed, that I would work as efficiently as I could, cut out the faff, and use every moment smartly. I have to say, although yesterday was a slower start, today had been highly productive. Giving me the opportunity to come leavd work at 5, spend time with my kids and focus on my home life. Now the challenge is to continue this as much as possible.

Digressing a little, there was a time about three years ago when home life was the very thing I wanted to avoid. Just to clarify, not due to anyone’s fault, but actually because of my treatment that I was going through. It was partly my fault, I rushed into it too soon. My head was in a horrible place where I just wanted every opportunity to be away from home. It didn’t feel like home. I consumed myself with work, stayed late, got involved in extra projects, checked work e-mails once I got home, and then some. I felt like I wanted detachment. I felt that if I wasn’t at home, I could convince myself that I was ok, and keeping busy with work helped me do that. It was after this time had lapsed that I realised how patient my husband had been while I was going through this. He didn’t come in and try and figure it out, he let me make my way through the maze and was waiting for me on the other side. This lasted for almost a 7-8 months, I don’t know many people that could be that patient.

We have our disagreements, as most couples do, but no matter what, I could not be more grateful to have someone that cared.

xx

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